Sunday, March 18, 2012

Gish and Guinness





Vienna has a long history of being home to some of the world’s greatest music.  Mozart, Beethoven, Strauss, Brahms, and Schonberg all lived and composed here.  The list goes on.

It is easy to focus on these composers, as most of them lived just down the street from us, but today we ventured out to a broadening musical event—Vienna’s 13th annual “Internationales Akkordeon Festival.”

In the less-than-packed Filmcasino in the 5th district, we saw Lillian Gish in the 1928 silent film, “The Wind.”  At the front of the theater were two fine musicians, both women.  One was an accordion player, the other a versatile musician who played, at appropriate moments in the movie, a saxophone, flute, clarinet and/or other instruments that made horse galloping and train chugging sounds.

Lillian, "Wind"
After a few minutes the novelty of the moment wore off and we were absorbed into the film and lost in the story.  Lillian Gish was remarkable.  She heads out west, meets some bad guys, and ends up in a cabin married to one of the lesser bad guys.  “Why did you make me hate you?” she screams in the form of a wailing accordion and strained clarinet.  Two rivals for her affection shoot out the eyes of a stuffed owl, and a woman who is jealous of her dresses out a full side of beef hanging in the living room of her ramshackle cabin on the prairie.  She glares at poor Lillian as she wipes the bloody butcher knife across her apron.

Try to score that with an accordion.  The two musicians did a wonderful job, and the mellow sax solo peaked just as Lillian declared, “I love you.”

After the movie ended, the sax player declared, “Ich liebe Schmaltz.”

We were dismayed to discover that we missed “Tango Crash,” a zydeco group, but next week we are shooting for American Rosie Ledet & The Zydeco Playboys.   As the festival closes, we will be back at the Filmcasino as the same musicians (we hope) play us through the 1920 Douglas Fairbanks film, “The Mark of Zorro.”

This really is good stuff.

Beyond accordion music, another Viennese tradition we honored this weekend was St. Patrick’s Day.  Actually, the Viennese likely don’t have a clue, but Keir and I headed for our favorite darts venue, the Highlander Scottish Pub.  Sure, it says its Scottish, but James and everyone else who works there are Irish.

We went early, hoping to get in a couple games of darts before the rowdies from Ireland showed up.  However, James let us know there could be lots of drinking, but no darts, for the evening.  He gave us a couple of free St. Patrick’s Day hats, a couple of pints of Guinness (not free), and we settled in.

About halfway into our second pints, we took up a game I learned when I was a kid in Germany—flipping over and catching as many beer coasters as you can.  As a middle-aged Austrian couple at the next table cheered, Keir and I drove the numbers higher.  We tied at 21 coasters—not bad given the Guinness that was involved.  I remind everyone that Keir is 18, not that it matters in Austria.

The Austrian woman then tried, but only got to two or three.  We then turned to flipping the beer coasters up in the air, with the object being that they land on top of the glass of Guinness.  My skill at this game apparently has faded, but Keir got six in a row.   The woman across the way got one.

We were low on euros and about to call it an evening when James announced from the bar that the first four people who could name the capitol of Ireland would get a free shot of Jameson Irish Whiskey.  I rushed to the bar and proclaimed Glasgow, which we all know is in Scotland, but this was a Scottish pub after all.  James was disgusted, but the other barkeep thought it was such a stunningly dumb answer that I got my shot of Jameson.

Like the accordion music, it is really good stuff.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Staying Clean, a Travelogue


[As John Luc Picard used to say in Star Trek: "Captain's blog, supplemental" ... or something like that.   A week has passed since Misti wrote this, and after struggling with new passwords and other issues caused by the crash of my hard drive, we are just now able to actually get back into our blog and, just perhaps, publish it.   Just perhaps, because as part of the crash I lost iPhoto and, while I had the photos backed up, I must use a different program to try to get them onto the blog. As you read this you might also notice that Misti has set a new standard for writing that cannot be illustrated.  So, I will weave in photos of our recent trip to Reeve and Melanie's ancient house in Arles, France (the Roman mosaic at the top is in the Arles museum).  So imagine a Star Trek episode in which two unrelated realities become intertwined and move along the same timeline.]

March 4 -- Revelation! I’ve figured out why the Viennese and other Europeans smoke and drink so much, sometimes smell of body odor, and refuse to pick up the dog poop from the middle of the sidewalks. Laundry! They’re so tired of the work required to wash and dry their clothes, they smoke and drink to relax, sometimes wear dirty clothes (it can take days for some items to dry), and simply don’t care if the public sidewalks are shitty – let somebody else do it.
Reeve's Neighborhood, Arles

Our laundry saga continues, and, yes, I know this is petty, but missing in an expat’s life are opportunities to vent – which might also explain the lack of dryers.

Three weeks after our washing machine died, I’m boiling laundry in a kettle on the stove, which consists of two small burners and no oven. I’m convinced the kitchen towels have become bacteria breeding grounds and need to be sterilized.

Last week we were enjoying a long overdue visit with Reeve and family, and an American friend suggested we take our laundry along for our children to do in an ironic gesture.  But, since we had only a backpack each, and those backpacks were crowded with as-yet-undelivered Christmas presents, no space remained for dirty laundry.  In addition, Arles is in France. Reeve and family live in a 4-story, 17th century house/art gallery/cave, and while they have a small washer, like us, they have no dryer.


Saint de la rondelle cassée
After we returned, we got the news that the new washing machine would be delivered on Wednesday. Ecstatic hallelujahs burst forth. The machine was deposited right inside the front door, outside the bathroom.  Jim muscled the machine into position and hooked it up, and, just to be sure there was no international installation confusion since the manual was in German, our landlady’s husband came by to check on it. Good to go.

Digression. The complexity of languages here continues to stupefy me. Despite being politically liberal, I mostly agree with the typically conservative “English as an official language”  approach in the U.S.  More on that another time. On the washing machine packaging these words appear: Lavabiancheria, Washing machine, Waschmaschine, Machine a laver, Maquina de lavar roupa, Lavadora, Pralka, Camasir Makinesi, and something that looks like MoIOMINHaa maIHHHaa (my computer can’t handle whatever alphabet it is: Cyrillic? Greek? Phoenician??)

Keir and a French Cat 
Having owned many washing machines, we didn’t anticipate any problems with our inaugural load. Jim put a reasonably small pile of bath towels in the washer and turned it on, and we watched like small children fascinated and delighted. Then, midway through the cycle, during a particularly violent spin, the machine abruptly stopped and so did our breathing.

One common aspect of expat life is loss of status, in our case, from homeowners to renters.

We like our landlady, the defense attorney, and we don’t want to be a nuisance. Writing a note to her about a machine that was broken less than 2 hours after it was installed was, take your pick: humiliating, mortifying, embarrassing, horrifying.  Weeks ago, the furnace broke and we were without heat and hot water for three days; luckily, it was a simple ignition fix. Shortly before that, the faucet in the bathroom sink was continually dripping and despite Jim’s best efforts to fix it, he couldn’t. That required the installation of a new faucet, but because it wasn’t of a typical model, it had to be ordered, which required more communication and more delay. In both cases, Frau P., who has far more pressing matters to attend to such as defending accused murderers, was understanding and helpful.

Melanie, Ocean, Reeve, in Marseille
What we haven’t told her is that the relic of a vacuum cleaner that came with the apartment broke three weeks ago, the shower hose broke when we came back from France, the old toaster oven is working erratically, and some of the windows messed up by the renovators still don’t close. Three of four of those we’ll handle ourselves.

This is a beautiful, renovated, furnished apartment in an old building, things happen. As homeowners ourselves whose renters back in the States have had furnace problems, we understand that things breaking is part of the joy of ownership. It appears, though, that European manufacturers have learned what I considered the American art of planned obsolescence.
Karaoke Bar, "My Way," in French

I just returned from meeting with my friend, Brigitte, an inquisitive, intelligent woman of 27 whom I see every week, ostensibly to practice my German but really just to engage in scintillating conversation in English. She recently earned her MA in British lit and her British English is nearly flawless. Between my observations and questions as a foreigner and her insights and explanations as a native Wiener, we both come to a clearer understanding of this place on the planet.

Arles Street
Ordinarily, I drink green tea or coffee. Today I had a beer because while I was writing earlier, I forgot about the kettle, which I had inexplicably covered.  It boiled over (and over and over) and dark, soapy water was swirling around the kitchen necessitating a quick mopping up with whatever towels were available. Now I have more towels to wash and dry. See? Laundry drives you to drink.

I told Brigitte about our washing machine fiasco and she sympathetically replied: Scheisse, Scheisse. I then asked Brigitte about dryers.  Her parents have never owned one, and although there is one in the cellar of her apartment building, she never uses it. Why not? “I don’t know. Tradition?”  I wondered why I don’t see laundry hanging out Viennese windows as it does in Marseilles and Arles (so colorful, so lively) and she blanched. She said it is too cold but mostly, it seems, it is a matter of modesty, which is ironic given the public displays of nudity and lingerie that abound on posters and billboards in Vienna and the intriguing array of sex toys displayed in store windows. She didn’t mention it, but I’ll ignore the environmental impact argument.
Marseille Street 

I’ve hung up laundry in my lifetime. Those sunny afternoons of hanging up damp clothes on the long wire lines at my grandma’s farm when my grandma would identify the songbirds for me as we worked rank among my fond memories. Our family of seven created a lot of laundry, all of which my mother did, and although sometimes a portion of it would be hung on the more modern rotary clothesline in our backyard, my mother no doubt was grateful on a daily basis for the modern dryer.  I know the smell and stiffness of pillowcases dried in the open air. I’ve spent time wondering why some people chose the wooden clothespins that look like primitive human figures and others used the less-anthropomorphic spring-action variety.  However, I’ve never spent so much time before thinking so much about something so mundane.

Reeve, Ocean, Marseille Train
As I’ve been hand wringing clothes again, one of my favorite American authors has come to mind.  Tillie Olsen, author of the stunning short story, “As I Stand Here Ironing,” and the novella, “Tell Me A Riddle,” was a Nebraskan, a high school dropout, a union activist, a wife, and a mother of four daughters, who published her first book when she was 50. Until then, she was too busy with the prosaic demands of cooking, laundry, cleaning, child-rearing and near-poverty to express herself.

When she finally had time to write, she wrote, "The habits of a lifetime when everything else had to come before writing are not easily broken. Habits of years—response to others, distractibility, responsibility for daily matters—stay with you. … The cost of 'discontinuity' is such a weight of things unsaid … that what should take weeks, takes me months to write; what should take months, takes years."

Melanie, Ocean, their house and gallery
Her nonfiction book, “Silences,” is an examination of the creative costs of household and labor duties. How many creative works, innovations, political interventions, flashes of brilliance -- particularly those of women -- went unborn or unexpressed because of the demands of domesticity?  I think again of those Peruvian women washing laundry in the river. Which of them might have been the equivalent of Olsen, or even the Peruvian Nobel laureate Mario Vargas Llosa?

And then a much better known American writer comes to mind, one vaunted for his “courage” in forsaking civilization for Walden Pond, Thoreau. While he was thinking deep thoughts about the simple life and being visited routinely by Mrs. Emerson, guess how he did his laundry? He dropped it off in Concord for his mother and sister to do.

The repair person is scheduled for Monday.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Dirty Laundry & Natural History





Sunday, Feb. 12

We just returned from the airport where we picked up Keir from his four-day excursion to Kiev, Ukraine. His Knowledge Bowl team placed first out of ten teams from such cities as Moscow and Sofia at the final tournament of the Central and Eastern European Schools Association. What’s particularly surprising is that of the four members on his team, two – Keir and his classmate Rachel -- were students of an exceptional elementary school teacher, Susan Kaplan, at Mantua Elementary School in Fairfax.  Eight years after being in her class, Keir and Rachel have done her proud halfway around the world. Beyond that, Keir has just chalked up a rare experience we never could have imagined for him little more than a year and a half ago – exploring the Ukrainian underground city,  playing pool in an Irish pub in Kiev, crossing the  wide Dnieper River on a bridge he described as very “Soviet.”  An adventure to remember.

Museum
Keir was in the green part
I wrote the following blog on Wednesday, and let Jim know that, as usual, his challenge would be to illustrate it. He groaned. Yesterday, he and I went to the Natural History Museum for the first time – an ornate, spectacular building in which the typical Vienna dilemma is pronounced:  To look at the exhibits or the gorgeous details of the building in which they’re displayed? As we wandered through the exhibits from the primates to the unicellular organisms (we went through the exhibits backwards) and then the dinosaurs to hominids, it struck me. It’s all a story of adaptation. Those organisms that adapt survive. So, Jim’s museum photos will be strewn about the blog.  The connection, I hope, will be obvious.

Wednesday, Feb. 8

Here in Vienna, on a bitter cold day, I’m taking a break from laundry. Ordinarily, that would hardly be worth mentioning, but our washing machine is broken and we’re renters and two weeks ago when we had no heat or hot water, it took three days to get it fixed, and Keir is flying to Kiev, Ukraine, tomorrow, and needs four days worth of clean clothes. Consequently, I’ve spent the last hour hand washing jeans, pants and underwear in the bidet and bathtub and figuring out places to hang them in this dryer-less apartment where they will have half a chance to dry before Keir heads to the airport.  For the record, Jim usually does the laundry, but I’m the one home today. 

Electric dryer

Although the above might sound like whining, it isn’t.  I’m grateful. Today’s expat themes: adaptability and the joys of physical labor.

Washing clothes by hand feels honest. It’s an endeavor I heartily recommend all of the millionaires and billionaires  (and their wives, trophy and otherwise, since men tend to be the ones predominant among the economic elite) back in Congress and corporate America and evangelical mega-churches take a day to do.   It would do their hearts good and remind them of some basic facts: despite race, economics, class, education, and political affiliation, everyone gets only 24 hours a day to attend to the necessities of survival; all people, rich or poor, prefer their clothing clean; and most Americans do their own laundry (albeit not usually by hand), cooking, and cleaning as well as working and tending to children.  Perhaps a little hand laundry would serve as a reminder to these wealthy people having a disproportionate effect on the rest of us, that they are, after all, merely human.

While wringing out jeans, a surprisingly strenuous task, I was reminded of two scenes. 

Museum, interior
When I was rafting down a Peruvian river in the 1980s, our group passed by women doing their wash on the riverbank. When you’re traveling, it’s tempting, perhaps normal, to see such sights as quaint. You don’t mean to be insensitive, but the point of traveling to different cultures is to see, yes, differences. It’s almost 30 years later, and I wonder if those women’s daughters are still doing laundry in river water or if instead they moved to the big city (or the U.S.) and now enjoy the benefits of satisfying jobs, modern appliances and, hopefully, enlightened men who share in the household duties.  I wonder if they remember their mothers and generations of mothers before them at the river and if they would smile and wave at Americans passing by in a raft as the women did that day so long ago. 

Extinct Dodo Bird

The other scene was one limned by one of my Iranian students in Virginia. The Iranian women were among my favorite students. Everything about them reminded me of honey -- golden, warm, sweet -- until a colleague, originally from Iran, told me never to trust them. They were, she said, manipulative, sly, and cunning because those were basic survival traits for women in Iran. (There are those who might suggest they are basic survival traits for women in general….)

American Buffalo
This particular Iranian student had an amazing life story. She and her husband, an officer in the Iranian military, and, if I remember correctly, two small children fled to Turkey apparently because they thought the husband would be killed.  They left separately under false pretenses to divert suspicion, hoping to be reunited.  She didn’t speak Turkish and lost most of what she had owned. She was living in poor circumstances in an apartment in Istanbul and needed to make money and did so by taking in laundry, which she did by hand all day long seven days a week on her knees beside a tub.  The clothes were hung out the window and around the apartment to dry. 

Eventually the family fled to the U.S., where the husband became a successful businessman – money, house, cars, the works.  The wife became Americanized (meaning not subservient) and converted from Islam to Christianity.  This was unacceptable to her husband and he hit her a time or two or more to make his dissatisfaction known. Her American friend urged her to call the police, and she did.  Her husband, a manifestation of the American Dream at least in economic terms, was ordered into anger management classes. The wife wanted a divorce, but one grown son said he would kill himself out of shame if she left the father. When I ran into her a couple of years ago, she was still married, but at least she was no longer doing laundry by hand. I suspect her husband has continued to adapt to the American way.
Misti & Ice Wall

More socks and t-shirts are now hanging in the apartment. Another benefit of hand washing is it connects you to the weather. Months ago I wrote about my ambivalence toward umbrellas.  Without an umbrella, you’re free to become “one with the weather, one with the day.”  Keir’s socks and pant leg bottoms tell a similar story. Although it’s been a mild winter, the last week has been wet. First, heavy rains, and two days ago, the first snowstorm for those of us in the central city. Keir’s school is nestled up against the Vienna Woods, and up there, snow and frost have been present for longer.  Watching the dirt and muck go down the drain, I was grateful that he’s a student in a city, even one that has way too much dog poop on the sidewalks, and not a farm kid doing filthy chores.

A day at the museum
Filthy farm chores would have been daily work for my family’s earliest Americans, those Norwegians and Germans and Dutch who gave up all that they knew to cross a huge ocean, land on Ellis Island with their single trunk, and take the train to the Dakotas to scratch out a living in a decidedly hostile environment. They adapted. 

Extinct Tasmanian Tiger
Adaptability has a particular resonance for Americans. A land of immigrants is a land steeped in desperation and need; survival of any sort requires an ability to change, and that applies as well to the unfortunate indigenous people who suffered such loss at being “discovered.” But adapting in and of itself is morally neutral, as one can adapt to any point along the cultural, and hence, ethical, spectrum. My relatives, as far as I know, adapted by working hard and following the laws, such as they were in what was then the Dakota Territory.  But one segment of Jim’s family chose a different approach. Apparently the Tennessee branch of his family became skilful moonshiners, and their unlawful doings when uncovered prompted a flight from treasury officials to Michigan and a change of the family name from Gibbs to Lee. The intriguing question is whether they became lawbreakers in order to survive in the U.S. or whether they had always been hoodlums and simply continued a pattern from the Old World. Then again, I don’t know why my relatives left Northern Europe. Perhaps they were running from the law or scandals and become law-abiding, upstanding citizens only when they hit the US shores. Anything is possible in the land of re-invention.

32,000 years old

Whew. All of the Kiev clothes are now hanging. Later, on to Jim’s and mine.

I’m not suggesting that by adapting to life as expats our ethics have been compromised or that we might entertain survival by any means or that we have suddenly allowed desperation to overcome decency.  Fortunately we’re in better circumstances than those that might make such approaches attractive.

Weeks ago we enjoyed a delightful dinner party given by one of Jim’s American colleagues, an amazing host (and cook) who lives in a spacious apartment in the First District.  Unlike us, he has all of his personal belongings, so the apartment exudes an enviable sense of his life and history. The other guests included a charming young German couple (the husband’s people were Palestinian back in the days of Old Palestine), two older Viennese acquaintances of our host (the man reminiscent of Christopher Plummer, the woman warm and intelligent) and two Muscovites by way of the Netherlands. The conversation was stimulating and the Russian husband and wife were magnificently entertaining. 

25,000 years old

We talked about Russian billionaires, the Russians with skepticism and a wink particularly in regard to some up-and-coming billionaire politician, and about the Russian wife’s realization she didn’t want to be a dentist only after she had completed dental school and faced real people’s gaping maws.  They moved to the Netherlands, where she developed a career in languages, and then to Austria, where he is a scientific researcher and their teenage daughter is a student at one of the international schools.

The amount of cultural adaptation represented by those few people sitting at that table was impressive. From the mind-boggling complexities of life in Moscow to the relatively bland environs of Holland, from Palestine to Germany, from post-Anschluss Vienna to postwar Vienna, from the U.S. to an essentially Eastern European city in the middle of nowhere.  Here at one table sat Germans and Austrians, Russians and Americans, mere decades after our compatriots were killing each other, and in the case of the Allies, occupying Vienna. With enough wine and time, the stories that could have been told…. the arguments that might have ensued….the bad blood that might have surfaced. But instead, a delightful evening of conversation and laughter among a group of people adept at adaptation.

9,000 years old 
It’s much later in the day, I have blisters (blisters!!), and the clothing is still damp despite two fans and my jacking up the radiator heat. Damn.

I just finished reading Ken Kesey’s  One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest because it was one of the books assigned to a student I’m tutoring. I had seen the movie but never read the book.  One thing missing in the insane asylum until McMurphy’s arrival was laughter; laughter equated with rebellion, normalcy and loss of control.  This reminded me of Gillian saying a year ago that the reason we shouldn’t smile at the Viennese is because someone told her that in Vienna only crazy people smile at strangers, so they’ll think we’re escapees from the asylum. This is puzzling.

Last week I was on a crowded morning tram, not my usual situation as I walk everywhere, but the day was frigid. The glumness on the tram was oppressive as was the unwillingness of people to move or excuse themselves as they crammed on board bumping the people around them with backpacks and purses. It was soul numbing; Nurse Ratched would have been perfectly at home.

I was reminded of those Americans in the news every now and then – the traffic cop who dances, the metro operator who sings, the people who express their individual joy of living to the anonymous masses. Here, they would be arrested.

200 years old (Maria Theresa's hund)
But even here the people can adapt. I suspect that some of you think we’ve been very hard on the Viennese in describing their rude, imperious, obnoxious attitudes in public. I guarantee you -- we are not alone or inaccurate in our descriptions.  It’s the conversation among expats from everywhere, including the German family I know quite well, that has lived in New York City and London.  They’re relatively recent arrivals, and they, too, are disconcerted by the Viennese who either coldly ignore them or confront them, berate them, and tell them what to do

I had coffee recently with an American expat, married to an Austrian, who has lived here for several years. She is the leader of an organization of English-speaking women (fewer than 50 percent American) and the work she and the organization do is inspiring.

Paul
We were talking about this Viennese character, and she, too, could relate numerous negative incidents from her own experiences as well as from the hundreds of expats with whom she associates. When she first moved here, the antagonistic encounters would leave her literally trembling. But just days before we met for coffee, it had happened again.  She had tried to apologize for a mistake regarding a dog leash, but a Viennese woman in her sixties would have none of it. She escalated it into confrontation, so the American expat screamed back in flawless German and a pleasant evening walk in the park became a trial.

I asked her what that woman got out of such ugliness. She said, “A story;” the woman could now talk about her heroic attack on a stupid person and stoke her sense of superiority. 

People adapt. Perhaps this Viennese attitude is an adaptation necessary for people whose history includes the rapid decline of a 500-year-old empire, two defeats in world wars, occupation by enemy forces, and guilt over the amount of innocent blood staining Vienna – the blood of Jews and other “inferiors” who were beheaded or hanged or tortured or transported to death camps mere blocks from where I’m writing this.

Some of these people I pass on the sidewalk are probably descendants of those aristocrats who lived the privileged life in years gone by. For a few, those elegant palaces everywhere in the First District, now home to museums and offices and hair salons, were family homes a mere two or three generations back.  Others on the sidewalk might well live in apartments that they know were co-opted from Jewish neighbors sent away to die or they might run businesses that were “Aryanized” in the 1930s and 40s. Those whose men were high up in the SS, and Austria was disproportionately represented in the SS, might still be bitter because the wrong side won.

Guilt, bitterness, loss.  Rude? Imperious? Obnoxious? Bullying behavior is sometimes ascribed to low self-esteem and sometimes to irrationally high self-esteem. The Viennese seem to suffer from both; they are a confused people living in the midst of exquisite beauty and haunting history.

View from the museum
OK. The romance of hand washing clothes is fading….

Glimmers of hope exist.  One clue to a society’s character is its public service announcements. Remember the PSA’s about the dangers of smoking cigarettes, the “this is your mind on drugs” tagline, the “A mind is a terrible thing to waste” mantra? I don’t know what the PSA world is in the US right now, or even if such announcements have become passé, but here, social problems can be discerned by the ad campaigns.

Months ago we mentioned the controversial “dog poop in a snow globe” ad campaign. Did it work? To some degree. I see more people scooping up after their dogs, although by no means are the sidewalks as clean as they should be.  Maybe it was the ad campaign or the news that one dog owner was fined 700 Euros for a dog poop violation; it seemed excessive until it was pointed out that his dogs were Great Danes.  Maybe everything combined began to alter people’s behavior.

Two recent ad campaigns illustrate increasing awareness of the downside of the Viennese reputation for bad manners and xenophobia. Posters plastered on bus shelters and around town declare: Respekt.  Ja bitte. One variation features the bottom half of four faces, each with slightly different shades of skin. The message? Basically  Rodney King’s “can’t we all just get along….”

In the post office the other day, I noticed a new poster for the first time, instructing customers how to wait in line; it included a diagram of how-to-queue. Really.  Among our first introductions to Vienna rudeness were post office incidents. Both of us experienced the dismaying reality of men simply cutting to the front of the line. The last time Jim experienced it, though, the women were having none of it and screamed at the miscreant. He screamed back, left in a huff, and returned minutes later, cutting to the front of the line yet again. The women screamed, the man again left in disgust.

And now? A sweet poster explaining to the Viennese how exactly to wait their turn.

Adaptation. Hope.

Ah, the clothes are dry, Keir is packed, and I just found out the washer will be repaired no sooner than next Wednesday.  Yes, Vienna has laundromats, but not close by. Instead, hand washing is in my future, but so what? I’ll adapt.

Feathers from the Argusfasan (here and top)





Sunday, January 22, 2012

Laggards of Vienna



We have been laggardly in our blog posting, with our last one being posted at the end of November as Vienna was getting ready for Christmas.  Well, Christmas has come and gone, as has New Year's Eve.   We are muddling through a mostly bland, gray, rainy winter with just the day-to-day stuff of life going on.

So, I'll recount the holidays, which may be interesting just because they are a little different, and thus exotic, on the banks of the Danube.

We purchased a slightly smaller tree this year from the guy down the street, decorated it Christmas Eve day, and spent some time wandering through the chilly streets to pick up some last-minute gifts at the Christmas markets.  Buying Christmas trees here feels more like renting them, because when the holidays are over, you take the tree back to the place you bought it and give it back.  They dispose of it.

Keir at Rathaus Market
Like everything else, we were laggardly in returning the tree and, as the needles started falling off in the second week of January, I figured it was time.  I was carrying the tree the five blocks back to the plaza where we bought it when a well-dressed Viennese woman, accompanied by her dapper husband and small Hund, yelled "Gehen! Gehen!"  She was pointing toward the plaza where a crew in orange coveralls was loading the last of the dead holiday trees into a big orange truck.  I did my version of running and, to the amusement of people in the plaza and the guys on the truck, I made it.  A laughing Austrian tree collector took Oh Tannenbaum and tossed it on the truck.

I'm glad we bought a slightly smaller tree this year.

Twas the night before Christmas . . . 
The excitement doesn't stop at the tree. I was recruited twice to don a red suit, once to play St. Nicholas and once to be the more familiar Santa.  As St. Nick I had to show up at a house for Misti's friends and read from a Golden Book for their two boys, ages 2 and 5.  The five-year-old, who is German and American (born in the US but his parents are German), then sang me a full version of Frosty the Snowman with a perfect British accent (he was raised in London).  He was more nervous than I was, so he had to sing with his back turned to me.  A few days later a desperate colleague at my workplace called and said the traditional Santa had bailed on him and he needed a Santa with an American accent for the institute's Christmas lunch the next day. They'd pay me with a bottle of booze. Please. Bitte.
 Keir and the Tree  

St. Nick
I agreed and then was told that the previous Santa, who didn't have an American accent, wowed the kids when he arrived on roller skates.  Did I have any such skills?  I offered to break some boards, but that wasn't considered to be in the Christmas spirit.

The actor in our family is Dylan, who once played a toy soldier for a Mannheim Steamroller concert.  I tried to channel his experience, but failed.  I read from the Golden Book as St. Nick and did the Ho Ho Ho thing and handed out gifts at the Christmas lunch (I was hoping for scotch, but instead was paid with a bottle of Sour Cherry Liqueur).

At a dinner a few nights later, a Russian couple who'd attended the lunch discovered that I had been Santa and offered this review: "Santa was very quiet."  My immediate thought was, "What do Russians know about Santa?," but I just told them that Santa didn't want to scare the kids.

Santa
A few days before Christmas, Misti and I were walking by the VolksOper in our neighborhood, and she noticed that they were selling tickets for that evening's Christmas concert.  The Oper is a big place that normally does light opera and musicals, and the theater is well respected.  So we went with high expectations for a good holiday concert.  It turned out to be more educational than entertaining.

Frost on the Woods
We learned that "The Little Drummer Boy" should never be sung in German as a dramatic piece.  We learned that "The 12 Days of Christmas" works better with the original words, not lines like, "Two gummy bears and a bottle of champagne from my Liebling"-- especially when sung by an over-the-top Mrs. Claus in a tight red sequin dress.  Also, Copland's "Fanfare for the Common Man" works better as an opening for the Olympics than it does for a Christmas Concert.  And, when badly played, it really doesn't work at all.  We left the VolksOper puzzled.

Votivkirche
A few weeks before that, however, we were given tickets to an eclectic performance at Vienna's famed Konzert Haus, and that was spectacular.

Keir and I were returning from his school on the edge of the Vienna Woods after the cold weather arrived and saw the woods and the vineyards covered in frost.  It was beautiful.

In our wanderings during the holidays, we came upon many typical Christmas in Vienna sights, including a craftsman making jewelry out of melted glass, and the Votivkirche backlit by the sun.

Melting Glass
I also met a researcher for dinner at the Schloss in Laxenburg where I work, and took a photo of the summer palace as it looks at Christmas.

The IIASA Schloss
The Viennese are creative when it comes to window displays in the shops (see top photo) and restaurants, and the historic Black Camel restaurant apparently hired a frustrated but talented art student to do its holiday windows.  These were the best we saw this season.

We often write about the Viennese being rude and reserved, especially the older ones, but there was evidence of change last month.  As we walked through a market we came upon a bunch of what I assume to be younger Viennese.  Literally a bunch.  We're not sure what they were doing, but how rude can you be when you're dressed as a banana?
Andy

Rene

Misti and I spent New Year's Eve at our apartment, being boring.  But at the appointed hour, we leaned out the window and watched fireworks in every direction.  People were shouting, honking horns,  all of the usual stuff.  It was actually very entertaining, and it beat being assaulted by a troll pick pocket as happened last year.  Keir was out being rowdy with his friends and made it back before sunrise.

Salvador
On the culture front, I learned that non-violence is part of the law in Austria.  I've switched from my karate class to krav maga, which is the Israeli self-defense system.  It is easier on the body than the other martial arts, so I recommend it for aging people who still enjoy hitting things.  During my first day of training, I was puzzled by a defensive move that had a "pause" built into it.  It went sort of like this:  A guy approaches from the front, grabs your shirt with both hands and starts shoving you backward.  In my previous training I learned to do all sorts of clever things to break free and, in the process, break the guy's nose.  It's all very fast and effective.
Austrian Banane




When I repeated that as part of this krav maga drill, the instructor stopped me and said I must back away after breaking free and that I couldn't hit my attacker.  "Why not?" was my response.  "Because it is illegal in Austria to strike somebody before you have asked them to stop and warn them that you will hit them if they don't,"  the instructor said.  "If you hit them, legally the violence will be your fault and you will have to pay the fine."

"You're kidding," I said.  He wasn't, he said.  I'm still sorting out what that means.  But the class is fun.

Keir Shooting 

Keir has applied to a bunch of colleges in the US and we are entering the "what are we going to be doing next year" phase.  If my contract is extended, Misti and I might stay, but that is up in the air.  We are both old enough that it will likely be difficult to find full-time work with benefits in the US, so we might not have the luxury of deciding to come home.  But a contract extension here is not a sure thing either, so we are living, as we have in recent times, in a sort of unattached way ... floating on the surface so we can quickly move in any direction with the currents.

Keir put together a photo portfolio for his college admissions process, so we spent some time out shooting pictures.  This one is of Keir at the Globe Museum Misti and I visited when we first arrived.  In this picture, Keir is in the ornate hallway leading into the museum.   I've also included one of my shots of globes of Venus.

Keir at the Globe Museum 
Venus x 5
We have decided that if we stay, we will travel more.  My sister runs an art school in Tuscany, so we must go there.  In several weeks we will head for Arles, France, to see Reeve, Melanie and Ocean.  I went to Venice when I lived in Europe as a kid, and I want to see it again (it is only a day's drive from here), and a friend from my years in Wiesbaden, Germany, now has an apartment there, so I will jump on a train and see that city again.

Sunbeam Alpine
Jaguar
Keir is off to Budapest this weekend as part of his school's "Knowledge Bowl" competition.  His specialty, beyond the family tradition of encyclopedic knowledge of rock and roll, is European and American history.  Later in the Spring he'll go to Kiev, Ukraine, for the big Knowledge Bowl competition.

That all sounds exotic, but we've now become so accustomed to living here that running off to Budapest for the weekend sounds sort of normal.

Finally, for my friends who I misspent my youth with in Germany, I've included a few of the cars I've come upon that you don't see much in the States.
Real Mini